By Simona Vivi H
Let's start with what it's not. Remothering is not a report card on the parenting we did or did not receive. And while it is true that the homes we were programmed in will have an impact on our remothering journey, remothering is a personal journey.
Remothering is a form of self-care. A path of turning within to access the mother qualities we seek.
Sometimes, we are called to the work when we are ready to live in greater self-alignment; ready to lean into our personal power even more deeply. Sometimes, we arrive here because life offers us an AFGO. And for plenty of us, it's a little of both.
Remothering is the process and practice of updating patterns and rewiring with intention so we can turn within to access the mother qualities we seek.
It's a process in that there are steps we can each take to notice our patterns. To be intentional about what we want moving forward. To be self-compassionate that we, as humans, all want to be able to turn to a nourishing, nurturing, physically & psychologically safe, wise mother figure. That desire to be seen, heard, loved, accepted, respected, and unconditionally loved -- AS WE ARE, and as we are becoming.
It's a practice because, like any other habit of thought and action, it takes repetition. The breakthrough comes when we can see the patterns. The transformation happens when we've practiced so much that it becomes our new way.
And, it's also a practice because we keep returning to the work again and again as we reach different points on our life's journey.
Remothering (verb) The process and practice of updating patterns and rewiring with intention, so we can turn within to access the mother qualities we seek. reMothering (noun) the name of this organization, community, and the events we organize for those of us on our remothering journeys
Remothering is a form of self-care. A path of turning within to access the mother qualities we seek. Other terms for similar work include: inner child work and mother wound healing. While these terms are similar, there are also some important distinctions among these different healing approaches.
Inner child work is often done in a clinical setting with the support of a trained therapist. And while we are BIG FANS of therapy and therapists, we wanted to distinguish the self-care work from the clinical work
The words "mother wound healing" are (m)other-focused. Just like the inner child work, we are big fans. Opening our eyes to how our relationships with our mothers, our FOO (family of origin), and our society impact our current reality can support us in getting to know ourselves even more deeply. The distinction is that, for many of us, we've already spent too many years other-focused.
The focus of remothering is about us (and future us)....and then ultimately, as we deepen our relationship between "me & me", that translates into our relationships with those we care about (and, really, everyone!).
For those of us who have been conditioned to seek love, belonging, and approval from the outside (my own personal history included ‘be a good girl’ and ‘achievement-for-love’ conditioning), remothering flips that script. As we live more inside-out (vs outside-in), our self-alignment increases and when that happens, we begin to experience life at a next level we didn't even realize was waiting for us.
We each come to the remothering work with our own personal histories. Our own preferences and styles. Our own wants and needs. Which means, we are going to resonate with different resources at different times. reMothering.org is a space created to bring together the wisdom from across modalities, practitioners, and healers to be a resource for those of us on our remothering journeys. Welcome. We are so glad you are here!
So many of us have found that as we do this work, and as we turn within to access the mother qualities we seek and we operate from that inside-out space more of the time, we experience life at the next level. The "and/also" is that navigating the space between what once was and what will be, takes courage and effort.
Plus, as we learn in week one of the reMothering Masterclass, the brain is calorically expensive; and therefore, if we are not intentional, our natural human behavior is to continue in the patterns we know. What that means is that even though we are each on the remothering journey for our own reasons, we each HAVE a reason that we can lean into for motivation and inspiration. What's yours?
As we begin to end today's conversation on remothering, I want to offer you this: whether this is the first of many connections, or the only one, the biggest message I'd love to remind you is that you have within you NOW all you need to access the mother qualities you seek. Sometimes we need to work to cultivate them, but they are there FOR you, WITH you, and WITHIN you.
Welcome to the reMotheirng Community. We are so glad you are here.
originally posted by Simona Vivi H on September 21, 2021, this definition of remothering as a form of self-care is now widely embraced, and has become part of our shared language as a global-community
Article written by:
Simona Vivi H
Simona Vivi Hadjigeorgalis is the founder of reMothering.org, a collaborative space where industry leaders create remothering resources for independent-learning. Simona also has a private coaching practice at The Center for Remothering.
For more from Simona, check out her FREE mini-course: Liberate Your Inner Dialogue, 4 seemingly simple yet amazingly effective techniques to quiet stormy mental chatter at CenterForRemothering.com/liberate-mental-chatter
Wishing younger you knew this?
If you are enjoying the content on reMothering.org, please share it with your friends. I am sure they'll appreciate it. Hopefully, one day we won't have to each stumble upon the remothering work by luck; folks will actually KNOW that there are tools available so we can all thrive forward with a powerful sense of alignment!
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