This article is part of the "How do I remother myself" series; written with love for those that are curious about remothering, and for fellow-self-healers on the remothering journey
By Simona Vivi H
In this article:
Why do the remothering work?
What is "If/Then Striving"?
The Remothering Roadmap
Why would I want to remother myself?
Why do the remothering work? Let me answer that with an invitation:
Picture a typical start to your day.
How are you speaking to yourself?
What about when life gets lifey?
What's the self-talk sound like then?
We all have a council of advisors in our head, the question is, what do yours sound like?
Remothering is the work we do to deepen our connection with ourselves (and our wise inner council). And as we do, we many notice:
Quieter and Kinder Mental Chatter
We may notice a quieting of mental chatter; and when it is present, it is kinder and more empowering
Boundaries with ease (and without guilt)
We may notice that we more easily and more gracefully set and honor healthy boundaries
Shift from fragmented to integrated
For those of us that know the feeling of being fragmented, by doing the remothering work, we may experience a shift to feeling more integrated. We may still choose to INTENTIONALLY compartmentalize in certain, very specific situations, but we make that choice from a place of feeling whole and complete
Transform harsh inner voices
And for those of us with a relentless inner task manager, a harsh inner-critic, perfectionist self-expectations, and/or a patterned way of thinking that tells are we aren't enough, or that we aren't enough YET... the remothering work leads to a self-acceptance for who we are. As we are. And as we are becoming
Imagine the feeling of harmony between your ears more often. Imagine what you could do with your time and attention if you were to stop leaking internal resources? What could that mean for your life?
Before we dive into the remothering roadmap, it feels important to say that this is "A" way forward, not "THE" way. I am happy to share the path that has worked for me, my clients, and so many in the reMothering Community. A scouted pathway is helpful, but roadmap or not, we each have within us NOW all that we need to access our inner-wisdom.
Have you ever had that that, "If I, ____, then ____"?
I call that If/Then Striving
One of my common if/then striving thoughts looks like this: if I read this next book, then I'll know more, perform better, I will no longer be judged by certain of my family members, and I will be worthy of love. (Which gives you a little window into a bit of my family of origin material).
What the remothering work has really helped me remember is the big T Truth. The TRUTH is, I am enough AS I AM, and as I am becoming. We all are. I may still CHOOSE to read the next book, but it will be an intentional choice, which adds a new level of joy and presentness to the experience.
We are already whole and complete. What remothering offers is a path to break free from outdated programming that no longer serves, master faster access to inner wisdom, and thrive forward with a profound sense of alignment. Should you CHOOSE to step into the remothering work, below, you'll find a roadmap.
Simona Vivi Hadjigeorgalis is the founder of reMothering.org, a collaborative space where industry leaders create remothering resources for independent-learning. Simona also has a private coaching practice at The Center for Remothering.
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