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Ask these 3 questions to see if you are Over-Explaining

By Simona Vivi H

Over-explaining can take a lot of emotional labor.

Explainer

We all have an explainer part, the question is how often are we intentional about it? One way of honoring the explainer part is to name it. (Assuming you are in the company of a trusted friend; I wouldn't necessarily recommend this for every situation!)

Here's how that could sound

"my explainer wants you to know that..."

By naming it, we can be more deliberate about when, why, and how we lean on it. Our explainer can be an effective communication tool in the right situations. But what are those "right situations"? And when does it shift into over-explaining?

To answer that, my dear friend and colleague Mindy Q and I came up with three questions to ask.

Is it intentional?
Is it in service to clear communication?
Is it emotional labor for the other person?

Over-explaining

The habit of over-explaining often has an origin story. For some folks, it's a modeled style of communicating. For others, it may have started as an adaptation to our environments. By bringing our patterns (in this example, over-explaining vs strategic explaining) to our conscious awareness, we have the opportunity to re-wire with intention.

For more about re-wiring with intention, check out What is Remothering?

Article written by:

Simona Vivi H

Simona Vivi H is the founder of reMothering.org, a collaborative space where industry leaders create remothering resources for independent-learning. Simona also has a private coaching practice at The Center for Remothering.

For more from Simona, check out her FREE mini-course: Liberate Your Inner Dialogue, 4 seemingly simple yet amazingly effective techniques to quiet stormy mental chatter at https://www.centerforremothering.com/liberate-mental-chatter

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