Are we orbiting "other" when we think about forgiveness?
Where is the Focal Point?
The "be a Good Girl" messaging so many of us received as children can distort our understanding of what it means to include ourselves in the equation.
For someone with a different early programming, perhaps forgiveness brings to mind forgiveness of self and other & acceptance of the Is-Ness of the situation. But, what about someone that's been trained to be otherish? Where's the reflexive focus?
The Power of Language
An 'OTHER' is part of the dictionary definition of the word forgive:
to cease to feel resentment against
to stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone)
What if we dropped the other-focused words from the definition, and instead focused on ceasing to feel resentment PERIOD, end of statement?
Expansion & Release
Are you up for a little experiment? If you were to feel into the word tighten, what's the experience? What about the word expansion?
What if instead of the word forgiveness, we used the word release? What does that bring to mind?
Of course we don't want to hold onto the bitter pill of resentment! But perhaps, we can give ourselves permission to not be quite so other-focused.
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Article written by:
Simona Vivi H
Simona Vivi Hadjigeorgalis is the founder of reMothering.org, a collaborative space where industry leaders create remothering resources for independent-learning. Simona also has a private coaching practice at The Center for Remothering.